The Great Sage Grouse Episode: Earwax, Drugs, and Candy Bars

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Hi. I’m Michelle Bachmann, and God approves this podcast.

Oh, man. Everything Is Stupid went off, this week. There was anger and sadness, screaming and crying, and drinking and driving. Casey bruised his stupid eardrum, and reminds everyone to heed the instructions on that box of cotton swabs. Lots of talk about beards (the facial, manly kind; not the girlfriend of the gay guy), Michelle Bachmann, and curse words. Just your typical week of men yelling at each other.

Woody Allen makes a guest appearance, or the worst Woody Allen impersonation ever. Adam sucks at being anyone but Adam. That should make you happy. Casey tells you how he likes to be described, instead of “ugly,” and Greg is a fricking Snickers commercial when his blood sugar has dropped.

It’s a good week.

Epilogue: So, Everything Is Stupid, apparently, hurt the feelings of the host of another podcast, called The ABC’s of Whatever, and they talked about it on their show. About how their feelings were hurt, and how they’d never received any hate towards their show before. The producers of Everything Is Stupid would, therefore, like to apologize to… ANYONE WHO HAS HAD TO SIT THROUGH THE ABC’S OF WHATEVER. I’m sure their families have to be so over it, by now. And their “15,000” other listeners.

 

The Fossa Episode: Personal Hygiene, Bungled Kidnappings, the Gay Agenda, and Bad Americans

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Don’t poo-poo this podcast. We’re making a movement that is wiping up the competition!

How can you be over the age of thirty, yet still have no idea as to the proper way to wipe your own ass? You might think it’s a given, but there’s a great debate amongst the Everything Is Stupid cast about the correct, proper, and sensible way to do so! Do you go from the front? The back? Standing up? On your head? And what’s the best way to take a leak? Over the fence? Through the gate? Piss your pants?

Also, the boys get some weird news about a botched kidnapping. All sorts of hilarity will ensue from that, obviously… Right? How could it possibly be awkward or sad?

Before they wrap it up, Greg, Casey, and Adam imagine how awesome it would be to be gay, from a straight man’s point of view. Hell, we hope that, in this day and age, it’s also awesome from a gay man’s point of view!

It’s also the first on-location the crew has ever done! They thought it would be interesting to see how much the average beer-swilling American knows about being American. Armed with a sample of questions asked on a citizenship test, the boys head to a local bar to see if the average American could past the test to become an average American. The results will absolutely surprise you!

Enjoy this week of podcasting gold!

The Electric Catfish Episode: Fast Food, Fast Women, and Fast Access to the World Wide Web

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If you can think of something more American, I’ll eat it!

Them boys down at the Everything Is Stupid factory have got a right mean episode for you, this week. I doubt there’s many people that would have the raw gumption to say the things they said about some of our favorite down-home American things, like how Pepsi in foreign countries tends to get hijacked, and I’ll be rootin’ tootin’ if ol’ Casey, the big ol’ southern boy he is, didn’t talk trash about our most sacred of southern institutions, Kentucky Fried Chicken.

Angelina Jolie’s breasts make a welcome appearance, and doesn’t that just warm the cockles of your heart? That woman is right purty, with or without a set of natural, God-given tig ol’s. She might be crazy, though.

As usual, though, them boys’ minds eventually end up in the gutter, and they start pontificatin’ about pornography. I swear, I never heard a couple of straight, God-fearing good ol’ boys like them talk so lovingly about another man’s rod. That’s what the big city will do to you, I guess.

There’s some meanderin’ about, here and there. The boys talk about modern-day conveniences, and the scary ol’ future, and drinkin’ and whatnot. It’s all newfangled for this old fuddy-duddy but, well, there’s a lot about this generation I don’t understand. That’s why I like listening to these boys. They got a way of talking that, well, gives me hope for this cursed world of ours. Truly and for sure, Everything Is Stupid.

The Dik-Dik Episode: Crazies, Bouncers, and Networking

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Sorry, we couldn’t think of any dik-dik jokes…

It’s the Dik-Dik Episode of Everything Is Stupid! We’re excited, your mom is excited, and we know that you are excited.

Adam’s in his underwear, Casey isn’t, and Greg is disturbed by this fascinating fact; Casey shares a little too much information about his insane family as he reads letters from his Crazy Cousin Cathy; we discuss how six-year-olds are dirty, thieving liars; Bas Rutten will kick the ever-loving shit out of you with a salt shaker and a bottle of pepper sauce; Greg attends a speed networking event, and Adam devises a devious plan to ruin the event for everyone.

We hope you’ll enjoy this week’s episode, and show us your support by liking our Facebook page and following us on Twitter.