The Iriomote Cat Episode: Law, Fatness, and Hypocrites

Rush Limbaugh

Casey and Rush are in a competition to see who can first get their cholesterol under 250.

What’s stupid in the world, right now? A whole lot, durrrrr! In this episode of Everything Is Stupid, the premier podcast about stupid, we examine the George Zimmerman trial which is ongoing in Sanford, Florida. Yeah. Like we have any clue what we are talking about. We sit around and criticize and hypothesize and theorize what happened, how it happened, and if anyone should be punished for their actions. Plain old everyday hypocritical pundits, we are.

And if that isn’t high and mighty enough, we delve into the US Supreme Court, criticize it, hypothesize it, and theorize it. Lofty, indeed, and definitely an opinion that should be deferred to when it’s put forth by three idiots in their early thirties with no real life experience. That’s us. Oh, and we put Rush Limbaugh through the paces. Because we are way better broadcasters, and way more influential than the Right Wing’s most valuable and influential cheerleader. I mean, we have an amateur podcast we have been putting out for, what, 12 weeks?

Once we’ve gotten off of our pedestals, we take a look at Casey’s arteries, and wonder why and how he is still alive. Then we criticize his eating habits, hypothesize about how much longer he has left to live, and theorize why he has such issues with food. At least, that what I would imagine we’d say.

Lastly, fuck Jim Carrey. He is a stinking hypocrite, and we hope he chokes on his next $40M check. This week, he turned his back on a movie he recently made and was paid for, because he has an issue with its violence. Then return the check, you hypocritical Hollywood douche bag! Criticize, hypothesize, theorize.

And is this episode late? Yep, it sure is. Whatever. We’ll worry about adhering to schedules once you get three of your closest friends, enemies, or relatives to start listening.

The Hammerhead Worm Episode: Depression, Impersonations, and Family Life

It's a baked potato. Very funny, indeed.

It’s a baked potato. Very funny, indeed.

Where the Hell has Everything Is Stupid been? Well, folks, we had some important business to take care of, last week. Casey broke his hipbone tripping over his cat, and required extensive surgery to keep his active lifestyle intact. There were some complications, of course, when the lead surgeon accidentally dropped his iPod Nano inside Casey and sewed it up in there.

Adam, on the other hand, was busy with this world record he’s trying for to have the biggest sculpture of a baked potato made out of mashed potatoes. Luckily, the world record is held by the only person who ever attempted it, six-year-old Jimmy Fletcher of Dallas, Texas. And it’s roughly the size of half of a real baked potato. I don’t know what is taking Adam so long.

Greg, as would be expected, has been off sailing with Mother and Father, on a two-week long voyage from Tampa to Maine up the coastline to have a family dinner with Brother and Cousin. I guarantee there is no animosity or arguing going on during this trip. They are having a grand time, and are probably hugging at this very moment.

This week, Casey complains, Adam does another impersonation, and Greg’s life is perfect.

Oh. Also, they are no longer publishing new podcasts on Wednesdays; look for them on Sundays, instead. It’s the Lord’s day.

The Great Sage Grouse Episode: Earwax, Drugs, and Candy Bars

mcihelle-bachmann

Hi. I’m Michelle Bachmann, and God approves this podcast.

Oh, man. Everything Is Stupid went off, this week. There was anger and sadness, screaming and crying, and drinking and driving. Casey bruised his stupid eardrum, and reminds everyone to heed the instructions on that box of cotton swabs. Lots of talk about beards (the facial, manly kind; not the girlfriend of the gay guy), Michelle Bachmann, and curse words. Just your typical week of men yelling at each other.

Woody Allen makes a guest appearance, or the worst Woody Allen impersonation ever. Adam sucks at being anyone but Adam. That should make you happy. Casey tells you how he likes to be described, instead of “ugly,” and Greg is a fricking Snickers commercial when his blood sugar has dropped.

It’s a good week.

Epilogue: So, Everything Is Stupid, apparently, hurt the feelings of the host of another podcast, called The ABC’s of Whatever, and they talked about it on their show. About how their feelings were hurt, and how they’d never received any hate towards their show before. The producers of Everything Is Stupid would, therefore, like to apologize to… ANYONE WHO HAS HAD TO SIT THROUGH THE ABC’S OF WHATEVER. I’m sure their families have to be so over it, by now. And their “15,000” other listeners.

 

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